Have you ever looked back to a time when you felt extremely confident in your own skin? When you literally felt carefree of what people thought about you, and weren’t confined to your own mental prison?

At some point, we will all face a moment in time when we feel a wave of insecurity come crashing over us. It can be for a short or long period of time. Oftentimes, it leads back to a source of trauma, whether it be from previous relationships, or even childhood trauma. It is very common for us to feel this way when we’ve experienced dysfunctional relationships. It makes us feel some way about ourselves, as if we aren’t “good enough”. I even have my moments of self doubt. I have my moments when I do not feel pretty, I feel incompetent, I fear that my husband will leave me for someone else (even though I know he never would). This is all from both childhood trauma and toxic relationships. I was familiar with toxic situations and chaos. I expected everything to always come crashing down at one point or another. I expected to be betrayed or abandoned because it has been a constant in my life since I was a child.

When I have these moments of insecurity, I take a moment and sit back and breathe. I really think about the situation and remind myself that I am safe. I am in a safe home and environment where I can think and speak freely. Where no one is going to hurt me. I remind myself that I am a beautiful person, and that the thoughts running through my mind are just that. They aren’t my reality and they won’t be my reality, they are just thoughts. I won’t allow them to become my reality.

One of my favorite things to do that I highly recommend is doing things for yourself that make you feel special. This can be something like getting your nails done, doing your makeup and hair, and/ or getting dressed up. You don’t have to have a special occasion. I actually will do all that, and do my own little photoshoot in my house. I love to look back at these pics to refer back to cool makeup styles or hair styles that I did, or even as inspiration for an outfit. I will even do fun photoshoots for my husband, wink wink. As much as I know he appreciates it, I actually feel that much more confident in myself too. I am proud of who I am, and proud of what my body allows me to do. What she has carried me through.

Start to do things that make you feel sexy. That makes you feel empowered to be the individual that you are.  The only person stopping you from feeling great about yourself is YOU. I can guarantee no one else is even critiquing you in the ways that you think they are. And even if there is some miserable human that is, screw them, it’s a projection of how awful they truly feel about themselves, in which hopefully they will read this blog and learn something from it and be able to change that for themselves.

You have this one life, this one beautiful life. If you spend it being a prisoner in your own mind, what kind of a life is that?

Set yourself free.